


Used to the Pain

by hemingwaysgirl



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, But only in the introduction, But they both made mistakes, Character Study, Civil War Team Iron Man, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Growth, Happy Ending, Headaches & Migraines, Healing, Heavy Angst, Helpful Peter, Helpful Tony Stark, Hiding Medical Issues, Hopeful Ending, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Humor, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I don't hate Captain America, I'm just bitter, Insecure Tony Stark, Iron Dad, Kid Tony Stark, No Slash, Parent Tony Stark, Past Child Abuse, Peter Parker is a Good Son, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Sassy Peter Parker, Sick Tony Stark, Sickfic, Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Whump, Vomiting, Whump, if you blink you miss it, iron dad & spider son, no hate, why is that not a tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-08 00:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15919266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hemingwaysgirl/pseuds/hemingwaysgirl
Summary: Tony usually kept to himself when he was sick, never seeking comfort from anyone. He powered through in true Stark fashion, hiding the paleness and dark shadows with foundation and concealer. Sunglasses and fake smiles completed the look and no one ever suspected a thing. Well, no one except Pepper and a certain annoying spider kid.(Update: Now featuring a second chapter!!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: Lots of sick Tony, which includes him vomiting on several occasions.

At a young age, Tony Stark learned to resist the urge to seek any source of comfort from his parents; therefore, he hid any signs of illness or outward distress when in their presence. The only person he felt would offer him the emotional and physical support he needed without judgment was Jarvis – the family butler. However, shame and fear of rejection often kept him from opening up to the older gentleman.

 

He still remembers one of the few times he confessed to his father that he didn't feel well – hoping he would show him some sympathy.

 

They were eating in the dining room as a family – which didn't happen very often. Tony was picking at his food, trying to ignore the nausea churning in his gut. His father's booming voice made him jump in alarm.

 

“Boy, stop playing with your food and eat it. You are not leaving this table until your plate is empty, you hear me?”

 

Tony gulped nervously as he watched his father drain his glass of scotch.

 

“Well, what are you waiting for? Jarvis isn't fixing you something else again. You need to show more appreciation for what you are given.”

 

Jarvis appeared in the doorway, concern etching his brow as he studied the pale child. “Master Tony, are you feeling alright?”

 

“He's fine, Jarvis. Don't baby him. He's just being his usual picky self.”

 

Tony fidgeted uncomfortably. “May I be excused? I'll eat it later – I promise. I just... don't feel good right now,” he mumbled.

 

Howard glared at him. “Let me guess? You've been eating sweets all day, and now you think you can get attention for doing this to yourself. That’s not going to happen.”

 

Tony stared pleadingly at his mother, and she spoke up hesitantly. “Howard, he really doesn't look well. Maybe...”

 

The elder Stark turned his wrathful gaze toward Maria. “He is fine, _honey_. Go pop another pill and stay out of this.”

 

Maria paled, her watery eyes meeting Tony's in apology. “Just a few bites sweetheart and then you can go.”

 

Howard opened his mouth to argue, but his wife cut him off. “Unless you want to attend tomorrow's gala alone and spend the night making excuses as to why I'm not there, don't contradict me _honey_.

 

The older man huffed but didn't argue. “You heard your mother, boy.”

 

Tony heaved a deep breath and took a small bite of lasagna. He tried to swallow, but his stomach rebelled unexpectedly, and he vomited all over his plate.

 

“Disgusting. Go clean yourself up. I can't believe _you_ are going to carry on the Stark legacy. If you want to be successful boy, you need to toughen up,” Howard growled.

 

Maria made to get up and approach the ill child but faltered at the last second and left the room.

 

Jarvis lifted the 4 year old into his arms, rubbing his back tenderly. “You'll be okay, little Anthony. I'll make sure of it,” he whispered into his ear.

 

***

 

Approximately four decades later, Tony kept to himself when he was sick, never seeking comfort from anyone. He powered through in true Stark fashion, hiding the paleness and dark shadows with foundation and concealer. Sunglasses and fake smiles completed the look and no one ever suspected a thing. Well, no one except Pepper and a certain annoying spider kid.

 

Peter had confessed to the engineer a few weeks ago that he had no one to drive him to MIT's annual college tour for sophomores. His aunt had to work – a colleague had just lost her mom and had asked May to cover her shift. So, of course, in true Parker fashion, she had agreed.

 

Peter had understood, because he would have done the same thing, but it was obvious that he really didn't want to miss this opportunity.

 

Once the teen's brown puppy dog eyes had met the engineer's, he had automatically caved and offered to take him.

 

He couldn't hide the grin that spread across his lips as he watched excitement light up the kid's features.

 

Why would anyone hurt an innocent child? How could people stand to see their kids cower in fear or shame when making them happy is so easy?

 

***

 

On the morning of the “College Road Trip” as Peter had dubbed it, Tony develops a killer headache – the kind that always promises the potential for a migraine later. However, he swallows a few Excedrin, downs water and coffee, and chooses to ignore the pulsing pain lodged in his temples.

 

He practices a winning smile in the rear-view mirror while waiting for the spider kid to exit his apartment. As soon as Peter settles in the passenger seat, the teen frowns as he studies his mentor.

 

“You know, I have my permit. I can drive if you don't--” he starts hesitantly.

 

“Nope, not happening. We are not having a repeat of last time.”

 

“But that wasn't my fault. I had to swerve to avoid the dog, and side swiping a mailbox is better than hitting a living thing, Mr. Stark.”

 

“Still not happening, kid.”

 

“Fine,” Peter huffs – pouting but unable to hide his worry. “But if you're tired I can --”

 

“Nope,” the engineer replies, popping the 'p' dramatically.

 

“Ugghhh... fiiine. Can I at least pick the music?”

 

“Knock yourself out kid,” Tony agrees – amusement coloring his voice. He squints against the early morning sun – the shades doing little to ease his discomfort as the sunlight spills in through the windshield.

 

He can do this. He is a Stark after all.

 

***

 

About half way through the journey, Tony's façade starts to crumble. The headache has transformed into the beginnings of a migraine – auras and sparklers impede his peripheral vision, while pain radiates from around his head to his neck. An invisible band squeezes his temples, and he doesn't feel as if he is consciously aware of the world around him.

 

The radio is set at a comfortably low volume, but the vibration of the music sends waves of pain through his head.

 

Dazed and delirious with pain, he pulls into the first convenient store he sees. He must have jerked the wheel to hard in desperation, because Peter yelps in alarm.

 

“What the heck, Mr. Stark?” he pants, turning to face the engineer. He gasps as he notices how pale and shaky the older man has become. “Shit, are you okay? What's wrong? Is it your heart? Are you sick?” Peter babbles nervously.

 

The teen's loud and anxious inquiries send a spike of pain through Tony's head. Nausea settles into the pit of his stomach and bile rises into his throat. He swallows hard. “I'm fine, kid. A-Okay. Don't you worry. I just need to use the little boy's room. Be right back,” Tony manages in a quiet controlled voice.

 

He sprints into the store, ignoring the cashier's too cheery greeting. He stumbles into the bathroom and is beyond grateful that the stalls are empty. Everything has melted into a blurry alternate reality, and he barely makes it to the sink before he expels the coffee and water he had consumed earlier.

 

The gagging and retching intensify the blinding pain in his head, and a sob escapes him against his will. He tries to stand up straight, but the nausea bowls him back over. Bile pushes its way through his lips, and the bitter taste causes him to gag and vomit repeatedly.

 

Finally, after what seems like hours, he forces himself to straighten up and grip the wall as the world swirls into nauseating colors of blue, white, and green.

 

His legs give away, but thin, strong arms wrap around his waist and slow his descent. Once he is propped against the wall, he opens his eyes to see a curly-headed blur in front of him.

 

Peter gently pats his cheek. “You with me?” he asks softly.

 

Tony nods and then grimaces as pain shoots through his head again.

 

“Why didn't you tell me you were sick, Mr. Stark?”

 

“Not sick. Just need to rest... I'm okay... not sick. Just tired.”

 

“Here's what you are going to do. First, answer my questions honestly – one finger for yes, two for no. Okay?”

 

Tony holds up one finger in assent.

 

“Does your chest hurt?”

 

Tony holds up two fingers.

 

“Do you have a cold or the flu?”

 

Tony holds up two fingers.

 

“Are you sleep deprived?”

 

Tony hesitantly holds up one finger.

 

“You been awake more than a day?”

 

Tony holds up one finger.

 

“So, 2 days without sleep?”

 

Tony holds up two fingers.

 

“3 days?”

 

Tony holds up one finger.

 

Peter sighs, scooting over until he's sitting beside his mentor. He wraps an arm around the older man's thin frame, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. He smiles sadly when he unconsciously leans into the comforting touch.

 

“Migraine?” he asks gently.

 

Tony holds up one finger.

 

“Okay, here's another thing you're gonna do. You're going to let me drive the rest of the way to the motel – which is less than an hour away. And you are gonna rest for the next two days, and then you'll drive me the rest of the way to the campus on the third day. We can leave early enough in the morning to get there just in time for the campus tour.”

 

Tony opens his mouth to argue that he's fine – that he'll be okay in a few hours and they can go sight seeing like they had planned, but Peter uncharacteristically interrupts him.

 

“Nope. We can explore the local haunts of your wild college days another time. No arguments, Tony.”

 

 _Uh-oh. He used my first name. He must be serious_ , the engineer thinks.

 

“I have two more questions. Okay, Mr. Stark?”

 

Tony holds up one finger in acceptance.

 

Peter ducks his head – looking sheepish. “You know how I slip up and call you 'dad' sometimes?”

 

Tony holds up one trembling finger.

 

"Well, it's because you're a part of my family. You and May are really all I have besides Ned and MJ. And families take care of each other.”

 

Tony hangs his head to hide the tears trailing down his face. Peter carefully retracts him arm and moves back around until he is crouching in front of him. He reaches out and tips the older man's chin up with a shaky hand.

 

“Will you let me take care of you, dad?” he asks, using a thumb to sweep the tears from his cheeks.

 

Tony holds up one finger and gathers his kid into a hug.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now presenting Chapter 2! Everyone's comments were so supportive and kind that I decided to extend the one-shot. I hope you enjoy! And thank you to everyone who took the time to read, leave kudos, and/or comment on this fic. Your support means the world to me! :)
> 
> (Update: On September 14th, I added a couple of short paragraphs near the end and rearranged a few phrases.)

Pain has always been Tony Stark’s constant companion throughout his life. He has come to expect it over time, and he eventually learns to embrace it as an inevitable outcome in any situation.

 

His dad is the first person to teach him that pain is an inevitable part of life - that the people who are supposed to love you will always hurt you - either through emotional or physical means, and sometimes both are used as a weapon.

 

Tony learns to lash out first - to always be on the defensive - to protect himself from a lifetime of crushing disappointment.

 

So, yes, Tony should’ve expected Steve to dismiss his concerns about going against the Accords and splitting the team – leaving the world vulnerable to any future attacks. He should’ve expected him to not be willing to listen and to assume Tony had selfish intentions.

 

He had stupidly hoped that they could pour over the accords together and revise them until they both agreed on the terms. Yes, superheroes should be held accountable for their actions, especially if said actions put citizens in danger. However, the terms were far from ethically sound, particularly when it came to their Nazi-like view of meta-humans and how they should be contained.

 

But together, he and Steve could’ve fixed it – with Steve by his side, he could've eased the public's worries and agreed to not use crowded venues to confront a target unless absolutely necessary and to not conduct missions without the proper authority. They could've done away with the super-human registry. And maybe removed Ross from the picture all together. Tony had more connections than most government officials and could have easily found a less shady representative.

 

Tony understands the public's fear of the unknown, because he has felt that same fear for most of his life. For years, his nightmares have haunted him during the day, reminding him of the destruction he and the Avengers had inadvertently caused in Sokovia and other nations. Steve could've actually spoken to the public and heard them out – instead of dismissing their concerns.

 

America is a democratic nation – a government that was built for the people and by the people. Why couldn't Steve see that by dismissing the people's concerns, he was stripping away their rights as U.S. Citizens?

 

People want to feel a sense of safety. And if Steve had read the Accords and perhaps written in his own amendments and conditions, Tony would have fought to have them enforced, because they were a team.

 

No, the group had become something else entirely – a family of screwed-up misfits –

 

the only real family Tony had ever known – besides Happy and Pepper.

 

Or so Tony had thought.

 

But looking back on the whole Civil War debacle, his family had left him to deal with everything on his own. No one ever asked him if he was okay although he did nothing to hide how stressed he was physically and emotionally – Well, Natasha did in a voice that clearly said, “You're just being your normal, melodramatic self.”

 

No one offered him comfort when the murderous truth behind his parents' death was revealed. Steve's apology letter held no compassion for his grief, only empty promises and self-righteous justifications for his actions. Steve had chosen Bucky – the 'brain-washed by Hydra super-assassin' who had killed his parents – his _mom_ – in cold blood. He was once again alone.

 

Until Peter had called him up after finding out from Happy that Tony was alive and well.

 

Tony's heart had squeezed in gratitude as Peter had asked with wide brown eyes if he could visit. Tony had immediately accepted without really thinking it through. But when the teen had stumbled in and looked Tony up and down with relief and compassion, Tony had felt a piece of his shattered heart mend itself.

 

He doesn't deserve the kid, but he loves him like a son and surprisingly, Peter views him as a father. That thought brings a small smile to his lips. He can be better for Peter. He can't bear disappointing the kid.

 

*** 

 

Tony startles from his thoughts as Peter makes a sharp left turn and skids slightly to avoid hitting a curb. He squeezes his eyes shut against the vertigo and nausea that threatens to send him spiraling into another bout of sickness. He takes deep breaths to quell the uncomfortable sensation.

 

“Sorry, Mr. Stark,” Peter squeaks, anxiety lacing his voice. “Ummm... you can open your eyes now. We're here.”

 

“Thank God,” Tony whispers, carefully prying his eyes open. He slowly turns his head to meet Peter's smirk. _Right_ , he thinks, _super-hearing_.

 

“I thought you didn't believe--” the teen starts, his eyes alight with mischief.

 

“Well, I do now,” Tony croaks. “It's an honest-to-God miracle that we made it here in one piece. If I were physically able, I'd kiss the ground.”

 

“Oh, come on! I wasn't that bad! I didn't even destroy any public property this time,” he retorts – his tone soft and playful.

 

“Not for lack of trying,” Tony quips, roughly kneading his knuckles into his once again closed eyes.

 

“Stop that,” Peter demands softly. He removes the engineer's hands from his face and squeezes the left one. With his thumb, Peter starts rubbing circles into his wrist and slowly moves upwards to his palm, gently pushing several pressure points.

 

Tony hums in surprise and relief when he feels the throbbing pain in his temples recede a bit.

 

He opens his eyes and briefly glances at the teen before facing forward. “Kid, you don't have to--”

 

“I know, but I want to,” Peter interrupts – determination hardening his previously care-free expression. “We're family, right?”

 

Tony nods, because if he speaks, his voice will most likely crack and give away too many feelings.

 

Peter maneuvers smoothly over the center console into the backseat – Tony watches in amusement through the rear view mirror as he rifles through his backpack, pulling out what looks like a beanie or more specifically a spider man beanie. He tosses it smoothly over Tony's headrest and by the time it lands in his lap, Peter has reclaimed his position behind the wheel.

 

“What is this?” Tony inquires, studying the white eyes and black lines crisscrossing along the red of the winter hat.

 

Peter raises an eyebrow in an 'isn't it obvious?' gesture, and Tony has to clear his throat to hide the chuckle rising in his throat. “I want you to wear it,” the teen replies. “It's 30 degrees outside and with the wind chill, it feels colder.”

 

Tony cocks an eyebrow in a direct imitation of Peter. “I'll be fine, spider-baby. We're gonna be outside for like one minute, probably less.”

 

“Please, Mr. Stark, just until we get inside,” Peter begs, blinking up at him with wide doe eyes and a pouting lower lip.

 

“I swear, those big stupid eyes should count as another super power. They'd make anyone do anything,” Tony grumbles, shoving the hat on his head.

 

“Happy now?” he says as he turns to face the teenager. As soon as he does, Peter holds up his phone and snaps a picture.

 

“Hey!” Tony demands, smiling slightly as Peter dissolves into giggles. “You little shit!”

 

“I'm sorry, Mr. Stark. Ned bet me that I couldn't make you wear it, so I had to! Don't worry, I won't send it to anyone else, and Ned swears on his Star Wars collection that he won't share it with anyone either.”

 

The older man waves away his assurances, a grin still tugging at his lips. “It's fine. I trust you, kid. Let me see.” Tony chuckles at the ridiculous expression on his face. His mouth is pulled into a fond half smile/half-protest and his shades have slid halfway down his nose. He pulls the hat off and tosses it into Peter's lap. “While you're at it, send the pic to Happy, Rhodey, and Pep. I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it.”

 

Peter grins, quickly doing as he is told.

 

As Tony watches him, peace and purpose envelops him in a warm embrace, temporarily keeping the physical and emotional pain at bay.

 

Tony knows that Peter sees him as a hero, but he hasn’t earned such a prestigious title. 

 

Peter’s selfless desire to protect the innocent makes him truly heroic.

 

He is and always will be Tony’s hero.

 

With his innocence, determination, and childlike eagerness to do the right thing, the kid has given him hope for the future generation of heroes. His persistent patience and unconditional love have torn down almost all of the defenses 4 year old Tony built to survive.

 

Peter treats him with respect and admiration, as if he sees something good underneath the scars of his past.

 

The kid is changing him.

 

Pepper's noticed. And they have slowly started to rekindle their relationship.

 

Happy's noticed. And he smiles fondly at Peter when he thinks Tony's not looking.

 

Rhodey's noticed. And he teases Tony relentlessly about being a mother hen, but happiness shines in his eyes every time he watches them work together in the lab.

 

Tony may not deserve Peter Parker, but Peter Parker deserves a dad.

 

And if Peter thinks he is worthy to fill that position, how can the great Tony Stark argue with his hero?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a kudos and/or comment if you deem the story worthy. :) Thanks for reading! Take care of yourselves!
> 
> I apologize for any inconsistencies in tense. It's hard for me to stay in the past tense, and it seemed confusing to write the whole thing in past tense when I was also talking about present situations. I may go back and put it all in past tense later when I've recovered from my writing binge.


End file.
